I give up.

For the momet, I'm beat. Beat. Tough week. Damned tough.

My play had been holing up until today. But now, I can't pick up a premium pair without wondering what in the hell I should do with it. Mucking would've saved me money this week. The days of seeing pocket Kings being a welcome sight are passed for the moment.

Tough week. And I'll have to quit for the moment. The beats are getting to me. Undermining my ability to play well. I'm getting the fear when the turn comes. Any turn. And the river has me curled up in a foetal ball. And its affecting my play.

Perhaps the best lesson I can draw from this week is to quit before that happens. And retain the confidence I've carefully built up to use another day.

I've looked at the hand histories, checked out the odds I've been up against. Preflop, I've been consistently, hugely consistently, exactly where I want to be. In the showdowns I've seen, I've generally been either a firm favourite consistently, or on a draw where the odds have justified it. In short, I've generally being playing the type of game I've been learning to for the last several months. The game I've been able to grind out a profit in on a regular basis.

In short, insofar as I understand good play, I've been adhering quite well to it. I'm aware of my mistakes, and am still making them. I've been creating situations which are in my favour. Isolating raises preflop to hit heads up against a LAG. Checkraising to minimise odds where my hand necessitates it. Watching for the steal opportunity and taking it. Betting draws for value when I can. Playing aggressively on flops where I think I have the advantage. Playing to induce bluffs to make more profit.

Time to think out loud.

In three days play, my two pair - on the flop, turn or river have held up once. I've lost money on KK and QQ. Quite a bit. Cowboys cracked 4 times in one session - J6o catching a runner runner flush on the river with no pair, J6o again catching a runner runner straight on the river, with no pair, Q7o spiking a 7 on the river for two pair, and capping all the way, 55 making a straight on the river, capped betting. Running up against quad nines against my premium pair twice in one session, which, oddly, strike me as the most reasonable losing hands. I've been outkicked a bare handful of times in top pair situations, which I read as a good sign. I'm concistently domimnating LAGS headsup, and isolating them when I feel I need to. I've been minimising the odds for draws, and mixing up how I play my hands, with mixed results. IE my mixing up has occasionally meant weaker hands have called and caught up as they suspect a bluff. Quite a number actually.

There have, in addition, occasions when I've been outplayed. People have read the undermining of my play correctly, and I've been pushed off pots where I shouldn't have been- something I sat down to deal with today, and worked on during the week as well. People have seen me play weakly into pots and taken advantage, giving free cards I quite often would not when I'm on top of my game. Hence quitting until I can deal with it. I've run up against smart LAGs who've outplayed me, making me fold where I shouldn't, and call or bet when I'm beat. Situations like this have occured, but they have not been the dominant trend. And my current losing context has served to exacerbate the problem. That said, it still needs work - picked up Millers book this week to help me reorient in these situations.

Its one thing to play well when good play is rewarded. Its another to maintain that discipline when under consistent stress. Yet another weakness to address.

So a couple of days off, and a change of scene are required. And then back to the grind, to take advantage of the copiuos notes I've accrued in these savage few days.